Say I was on a jury, drunk boy had met drunk girl in a bar. She had gone back to his place. She had been kissing him and got into bed with him.

Now she says that the last thing she remembers was being in bed kissing him and when she woke up she had no clothes on and knew he’d has sex with her.

He says they we kissing each other, touching each other and taking each others clothes off. Then they had sex with each other. He says she was awake and carried on kissing him thoughout.

I wouldn’t convict, simple as. There’s never any witnesses to these situations. If there’s no sign of violence, they’ve agreed to sleep in the same bed and there’s no signs of a struggle how can you possibly convict when a judge would instruct that you have to find him guilty ‘beyond reasonable doubt’.

This ‘I was too drunk to say no’ thing doesn’t wash with me either. If that was the case how on Earth did she get to his place / her place anyway? If you are too drunk to speak you are too drunk to walk. You can be so drunk you can’t remember walking home and still make it, but not be so drunk you can’t even say ‘no’ and still be able to get home.

I think a lot of these allegations we’re talking about are genuine date-rapes. I think many of them are more to do with the girl not remembering what she did last night. A small number of them are probably malicious complaints by girls who regret what they did.

Yes rapists are lying their way out of trouble. But I don’t see there is a great deal we can do about it. There’s a lot of so-called company directors out there that should be prosecuted for fraud, because they are basically running deliberate scams. Same problem, you can’t prove it.

I should not have to lock my car up when I leave it somewhere as no one should steal it, but people will try to steal it so I have to lock it. Equally, you recently commented that you don’t keep a block of knives in your kitchen in case you are burgled and the burglar sees them before you do (or something like that, I hope I’m not misquoting you!).

I am categorically not stating that drunk women deserve to be raped. The whole point is that women should avoid situations where they are putting themselves at risk. I try to avoid dark streets or groups of youths at night for the same reason.

The problem jurors seem to be struggling with is whether consent was given or not when both parties were drunk and one party may regret it in the morning. Criminal convictions are based on “beyond all reasonable doubt”, civil prosecutions are based upon “the balance of probabilities”.

Convictions are bound to fail when it is not beyond all reasonable doubt. I personally believe there is a significant difference between women drinking too much, when they should know their alcohol tolerance(!) and being drugged with medications.

Ellee, I abhor the idea that date rape convictions should be too low or too high rather than a freak of the justice system. Would you prefer the rate to be 10%, 30% or perhaps 60%?

Are too many women found guilty of manslaughter rather than murder of their husbands!?!

Ellee, in answer to your question, I agree with the jurors who suggest it depends on the circumstances.

Date rape drugs are dangerous; women need to be careful when partying, especially at this time of year.

So the answer to your question “should men have sex with woman when they are too drunk to refuse?” is clear in one sense and that’s no, it’s contemptible, unethical, sleazy and, to my mind, beyond forgiveness. It’s a whole different matter though to say it should be illegal…

It seems to me that the jurors are being the sensible ones. Women do have a responsibility to look after themselves, they cannot abdicate that responsibility because they are drunk.

Should drunk drivers not be prosecuted as they may be too drunk to know it’s illegal to drive whilst drunk!?!

Should there be different categories of rape such as there are with murder? Is there a difference between “date rape” which is perhaps down to interpretation (and why jurors struggle to convict?) and dragging someone into bushes at knife point to be raped?