How do you cope with a tantrum on a plane?
Posted by Ellee on Jan 26, 2007 in updates | 5 comments
It’s every parents’ nightmare, having a child who throws a wobbly in a public place. But when the tantrum is on an plane and delays the flight, how do you cope, what can you do to placate an hysterical child, knowing everyone’s eyes are fixed on you?
This is what happened to Julie and Gerry Kulesza who could not restrain daughter Elly, 3, with her seat belt strapped securely, so they were removed by the airline AirTran.
Curmudgeon has highlighted this interesting incident and says the story made headlines because of the parent’s anger with the airline, even though AirTran flew the family home the next day, as well as reimbursing them for the cost of the tickets they bought on the flight they didn’t take because of Elly’s behavior. They were even offered free round trip tickets to anywhere AirTran flies.
Curmudgeon, having a legal background, wonders if the family had been aware of the proposed smacking ban in that state on children three years and younger. But who would have wanted, or could have considered smacking a young child in those circumstances, it would have been outrageous to do so and tantamount to assault.
So was the airline right in ejecting the family? They obviously have to pay hefty fees for the time they are grounded and their delay would have held up other flights too.
Do you have any special techniques for dealing with tantrums? You could hardly ignore the child and make pretend it was not yours in this confined space. It is so humiliating knowing that all those eyes are firmly fixed on you and your parenting skills. What I do remember is that you cannot reason with a child in this state, you have to wait for the tantrum to cool off, but time was against this family.
Not quite the story I wanted to encounter on the eve of a 12 hour leg to Kuala Lumpur, en route to Hanoi. With my not-quite-three-year-old. Thanks, Ellee…
My old man gave me a damn good thrashing in similar cirumstances.
That’s obviously why I don’t have tantrums on planes any more. I’ve learned to be a good boy.
It’s when an adult throws a tantrum that the airline needs to be careful. They can be difficult to restrain.
The welfare of the other passengers is paramount.
Ellee – Interesting how this has become a crisis for the airline. Probably not the best strategy to cite the rules and regulations, but now the media are proactively asking people to submit stories, it isn’t surprising the parents are taking full advantage of getting coverage.
In my experience, children rarely learn to tantrum at 3 years of age (ie this wasn’t her first strop). I like children (I studied child psychology, grew up in a seaside hotel and used to teach at a nursery school during my University vacations), but am totally fed up with parents who are incapable of being parents. I don’t mean smacking – but engaging children positively, using distraction techniques and teaching them that tantrums don’t get you what you want. Why should the rest of us have to shop, sit on a train… whilst a child is allowed to behave badly.
Maybe the flight attendant should have tried the strategy in that television advert where the mother throws herself on the ground screaming to embarrass the child.
Thanks for picking up this story, Ellee. The flight attendant who responded in my comments cited (at great length, as you noticed) the Federal regulations about how, prior to takeoff, every passenger must be seated and belted in.
The anonymous commenter noted that many of the media stories overlooked this and focused on the crying — an error into which they were certainly led by the child’s parents who are orchestrating their “15 minutes” in the spotlight. I make fun of stories like these — but I did get the rule in the third sentence of my post.
The thing is, the child probably could have cried her lungs out and the family would have been able to fly home — to the increasing distress and discomfort of their fellow passengers — if only they had placed their child into her seat and belted her in.
As a parent, in those circumstances, my heart would have gone out to the parents of this child. Because sometimes there’s nothing you can do but wait for the storm to pass. And, having been in a situation where one of my children was misbehaving in public, I know how exposed you feel, how you feel everyone is looking at you and judging you harshly.
But they wouldn’t put the child in her seat. And now they’re complaining that the airline treated them badly. I believe on your side of the ocean, one might still say, “Bad show.”