MP must choose Heaven or Hell

jam You are probably unaware that there is a lengthy seven-week general election campaign taking place in Jamaica right now where its first woman prime minister,  Portia Simpson Miller, is fighting to retain her seat for the People’s National Party. Polling day is 27 August and the main opposition is the Jamaica Labour Party.

This joke is currently spreading around the Internet there – and it does have a moral, there is a sting in the tail that I thought you would enjoy:

While crossing the street one day a Member of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,� says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We have never had a Jamaican high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.�

“No problem, just let me in,� says the MP.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.�

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,� replies the MP.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.� And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.

In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is shaking his hand, and reminiscing about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realises it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises to Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Now it’s time to visit Heaven.�

So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realises it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity.�

The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.�

So, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

“I don’t understand,� stammers the MP. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?�

The devil looks at him and smiles.

“Yesterday we were campaigning … today you voted.�

*The good news is that we are off to heaven right now – a week in Centre Parcs. It’s only a 40 minute drive from our house, yet it feels as if we are in another country when we arrive, surrounded by lakes and forests and tranquility. The bad news is that when we return, my son David will be admitted to the University College Hospital, London for a biopsy on his jaw as his consultant believes they have the best microbiologists there.