Pocket Opera
Fund-raising prosecuting solicitors Debs and Shelley
Barbara and Claire helping victims of domestic violenceDomestic violence is a subject most people never give a second thought to. It is something that happens to someone else and anyway, if they don’t like they can always leave: this is probably how most people view the situation.
Reality is totally different, as I discovered last night. My bubbly friend Shelley Wilson, and her energetic colleague Debs Cartwright, both prosecuting solicitors with the CPS, have been holding a worthwhile fund-raising event over the last two years to help women and children who suffer domestic violence. Through their court work, they have first hand experience of the trauma and devastation it leads to and could not think of a better cause to support.
It was a fun fund-raiser too called “Glyndebourne Comes To Grantham”, held in the fabulous home of magistrate Gill Wild, a most generous hostess, where we were entertained to arias and
opera by the talented Discord and Pocket Opera. I have always wanted to go to Glyndebourne, not made it yet, and this was the perfect alternative.
I learnt a fascinating fact from dedicated duo Claire Morrison and Barbara Simpson, of Lincoln and Grantham Women’s Aid, that on average women experience 35 violent and abusive incidents in seven years before they leave. The reason they don’t leave earlier is because of love, and we all know that love is blind. And, most tragically, 60-70 children a year die because of their abusive homes.
So what can be done, how could Conservatives help this cause? Both women would like to see widespread advertising and promotion about their work, on milk cartons and wine bottles, to hoardings and press. Additionally, they feel women and children should automatically be able to provide evidence in court from behind a screen; this is presently left to the discretion of the judge. The issue needs to be raised at schools, our young people need to know that domestic violence is not acceptable behaviour.
And, most importantly, their organisation struggles from day to day to keep running because of financial constraints, they need fiscal support from the Government which is not presently given. After all, lives are at risk here. Will Conservative policy makers please take note and take positive steps towards helping victims of domestic violence. This is a vulnerable minority that needs all the help and support they can get so they can turn their lives around.
Incidentally, tickets cost only £25 and included a marvellous home cooked buffet with scrummy puddings (it was a banquet fit for a king), prepared by Debs, the legal eagle’s Domestic Goddess, as well as a glass of champagne. I suggest they put up their prices next year.
Update 27th June 2006: I’ve just heard from Shelley that the event raised an amazing £1,250, which I know will be greatly appreciated.
I still find it astonishing that domestic violence was first taken seriously in the early 1970’s and that prior to that it was viewed as acceptable or at worst inevitable.
I don’t think enough has been done by Labour or Conservatives since, which is why we should help more now.
Agreed. It is monstrous that anyone should regard violence by one spouse / partner against another as being in any way acceptable, or it being an area where the criminal justice system should not have a role.
The Home Office, or the Met (not sure which) is currently running some rather punchy posters on the topic in pub loos.
Hi Ellee
You are certainly raising some very interesting topics on your blog- many thanks, it is a pleasure to read.
It’s interesting how attitudes to domestic violence have changed over the past 20 years, isn’t it, though there is clearly still work to be done.
One of my friends had some problems five or so years ago when her husband’s heavy drinking finally tipped over into alcoholism and he became a Jekyll and Hyde character- delightful when sober but violent in his cups. She called the police on one occasion and said they were magnificently helpful, without being heavy handed. I’m not convinced that would have been the case a generation ago.
Of course, domestic violence affects men too and I have to confess that as a nineteen year old headcase I occasionally used to try to take a swing at my first husband during rows (albeit completely safe in the knowledge I wasn’t going to connect as he was six foot to my five two and a half and thirteen stone to my seven (those were the days!) and had lightning reflexes as he was a top level fencer. However, I now feel that that was completely disgraceful behaviour. I’m not sure whether that’s because I have (allegedly) grown up or because society’s attitudes have changed. In those days grown women used to behave like something out of “The Valley of the Dolls”.
I think this also relates to your previous thread about smacking. I have smacked my daughter only once (one smack and not a hard one) and deeply regretted it. I feel that children follow our example and if we think it is okay to hit people half our size, how can we tell them not to do it?
Mind you, I sometimes think it is the subtler aspects of child rearing which are more challenging. Yesterday I found my daughter (now 11) reading one of my women’s magazines- or to be precise an article in said mag entitled “My boyfriend is a porn star”. I said something along the lines of “Not sure you should be reading that” whilst reminding myself that as a child I used to read the Master and Johnson sex articles in my parents’ “Readers’ Digest”- I can’t have been more than eight or nine. However, in view of how I turned out (see above) I’m not sure that’s any recommendation for laissez-faire reading policies! I wonder what you (or other readers) would have done in the circs?
Barbara, many thanks for your kind words and for sharing your personal insights, they were so very interesting.
Issues like this do need exploring, we need to help victims of this terrible violence and ensure that their support is not threatened due to financial constraints.
And yes, what 11-year-old hasn’t read the odd illicit material. It sounds like Readers’ Digest used to be have some pretty racy content in your younger days, I’m sure it’s much more restrained now. I’m also sure your daughter will be fine and not unduly harmed by your magazine’s account of having a porn star boyfriend – it sounds quite interesting to me, a world removed from my own.
on average women experience 35 violent and abusive incidents in seven years before they leave.
Sorry to nit-pick…
This is one of the most often mangled statistics in the domestic violence world (beaten only by the ‘fact’ that 90% of children witness domestic violence – also a mangled statistic!*)
Research conducted in 1987 for LB Hammersmith and Fulham, published as ‘What Support’ by McGibbon et al found that on average, women endure 36 assaults before they first ask for help.
The same research also found that women stay in an abusive relationship for an average of seven years and are expeiencing two assaults a week at the point that they leave.
This statistic is sometimes also mangled by stating it’s 35 assults before calling the police (not true) and is frequently misattributed to other researchers – most commonly Mirlees-Black (1999).
However, the original source is research is now almost two decades old and as such is wholly unreliable since much has changed in the intervening years. One of the original researchers (Prof. Liz Kelly) has repeatedly pleaded for people to stop using this statistic (except in a historical context).
Certainly anecdotal evidence would suggest that women are leaving earlier – in fact 3-4 years would now seem to be more accurate.
* The actual fact is that in families with children where domestic violence is occurring, 90% of incidents occur when children are in the same or next room. About half of domestic violence incidents are to women with children.
Spicy
Coming late to this (via the Carnival) but I have to agree with “And, most importantly, their organisation struggles from day to day to keep running because of financial constraints, they need fiscal support from the Government which is not presently given. After all, lives are at risk here.”
Almost all Women’s Aid projects are severely under-funded and rely on charitable acts such as ‘Glyndebourne Comes to Grantham’ (fab idea!) to keep their heads above water.
I am responsible for producing a balanced projected annual budget for a Women’s Aid Refuge organisation and it’s impossible!
Supporting People funding – which was heralded as the answer to all our problems – has proved to be a huge administrative headache for small organisations such as ours. We have to jump through endless hoops for diminishing funding and, while we’re jumping, we’re being taken away from our real work of helping abused women heal and rebuild their lives. It drains my energies and makes me cross.
Domestic abuse is a societal problem and you’re quite right when you say that Government has to take more responsibility in ensuring that recovery services are adequately funded. Two women are killed each week by a current or former partner in this country. If domestic abuse was taken as seriously as it should be and the 1976 Select Committee recommendation of one refuge space per ten thousand head of the population was anywhere near being achieved (which it’s not) then lives would be saved.
Women’s Aid have been specialists in the field of the recovery of women and children from experiences of violence for thirty odd years. We need support in order to be able to continue our work. Refuges are closing due to lack of funding. What message does that give to abused women? It tells them that what happens to them doesn’t really matter – and that’s wrong.
*off soapbox*
Witchy-woo, I will do what I can to raise this through the Conservative Women’s Organisation. It’s an issue that has been ignored for too long. Maybe I will come back to you later for some data and background info on this. Do please keep me posted, ask your colleagues to do so as well. What is the Carnival, by the way?
That would be great Ellee – thanks. If you do need any info or stats etc my email addy is up on my blog.
The Carnival of Feminists is a monthly round up of posts worth reading selected by whoever is hosting the carnival that month.
Your post featured in the current carnival which is being hosted by Ink and Incapability here:
http://incapability.blogspot.com/2006/07/carnival-of-feminists-xviii.html
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