I love surprising people, and yesterday I surprised my 17-year-old son David by collecting him from the railway station after school with L plates on my car. He was to drive home.
David couldn’t wait to get behind the wheel. We zig-zagged around the car park a bit before joining other commuters. I kept reminding David we didn’t need to rush it, that he was driving a different car and needed to feel comfortable in it. As an Advanced Motorist, I feel well qualified to take David out on the road. And I am patient, or so I thought.
However, David was very confident and kept wanting to prove that he could speed along at 60mph just as well as the the rest of them. I wanted him to stick to 40mph.
He couldn’t understand why I needed to constantly remind him about the deep ditches on either the side of the road, or the river under the bridges we were crossing, and several times I panicked when I thought he was going to clip other cars. I even yanked the handbrake up a couple of times.
Only David was fine, he did a really good job, and I did tell him that, even though I sat rigid in the front seat with my fists clenched and a dry throat the whole time, constantly expecting the worst to happen, worrying about the £450 excess we would have to pay if he did have an accident.
David says he will only come out with me again if he can gag me – and I thought I was the one doing him a favour! So do you have any tips on surviving the stresses of teaching your child to drive? What are your experiences of this?
*My younger son James (my baby still) is 15 tomorrow, 15 going on 25 and has always had a wise head on his shoulders. He is perceptive and confident and as a young child, you could never pull the wool over his eyes. He is great fun, they both are.
These are a couple of my favourite pictures of my two boys taken in April 2002 after a great night at the Cambridge Arts Theatre rocking along with the Blues Brothers.
I am dreading the day when they both fly the nest, the huge gap it will leave in my life.
What brilliant photos! My mother’s state of nerves when she took me for driving lessons was so advanced that in the end neither of us could stand it. Better to learn to drive with people who aren’t relations.
WW, Thanks, I had always hoped for daughters so I could dress them up, so I always made the most of chances that came my way with the boys.
I know many families have fraught experiences over teaching children to drive.
What great looking boys Ellee and so good they are friends too 🙂
My father booked me on a driving course with the words ‘you can wreck his car while you learn what to do with the pedals, then I will teach you how to drive’ and he did. It was a good plan because I’d got the feel of a car with a stranger and could better concentrate on better driving with my father; I didn’t need Dad to shut up so I could concentrate on what pedal or stick to push. That’s what I’d recommend.
A few phrases that have stuck are:
* be in the right gear at the right time.
* whilst you may technically be in the right it is not your right to cause an accident.
* always imagine that the car infront/behind is an idiot and drive accordingly.
* a car is a dangerous weapon, you can kill people with it, it is not a toy, if you want to play go to a racetrack where you will only injure yourself and NOT MY CAR or other people.
* just because the other driver is an idiot that doesn’t mean you have to be.
* always remember to look where you are going, the car doesn’t drive itself.
* don’t panic.
sorry, it’s amazing what sticks isn’t it? Of course Dad taught me how to tow a caravan last year hence remembering the last one 🙂 When you have two precious babes and are alone responsible for hooking up a ton of caravan behind them in the car, that could turn you over if you do the wrong thing, well, I was a bit nervous at first. But it’s a breeze.
Thanks Dad x
Pip, what a great dad you have, a pity he doesn’t love closer so he can take David out on the road too! It will spare my nerves.
David drove home really well after school today and I know he will improve once I take him out at weekends. I didn’t yank the handbrake up once and we both got out the car happy bunnies.
Good luck to David and happy birthday to James – a bit late.
I learnt to drive with my father about eight years ago and if there’s one universal truth in the world it’s that when a perent tells their son to slow down, they will speed up to prove they can handle it. What slowed me down was when my driving instructer taught me to use a higher gear to save petrol (this was during the fuel protests), and in doing so it meant I was always so low down in the rev range that I never had the acceleration to build too much speed too fast. If the car he’s learning on has a rev counter, teach him to change up at 3000rpm and down at 1500-2000rpm.
Welshcakes, your birthday wishes are not too late, it is today, nice to have it on a Saturday so we can spend the day together.
Mark, Many thanks for the tip, I will ask David if he is taught to look at the rev counter, I think I remember being taught to watch it too.
I like the new magnetic L plates, btw, they are marvellous, so easy to put on and off without leaving a mark.
David has coughed up half towards the extra insurance cover too, I hope it will make him value all this.
A happy and prosperous new year to you and your family Ellee.
However, I’m sorry to say that denting the parents car is almost a passage of rites for young men. I had just turned 17 when I dented the passenger door on my dads new Cortina. The damaged cost me a fearsome £500, a small fortune at the time. Looking back it was a lesson well learned, I’ve never dented any of my cars ever since.
As long as your properly insured, all I can suggest is that you sit back, and try to enjoy the ride. If by chance David does accidentally dent your car, I’m sure todays prices for car repairs will soon sharpen Davids driving skills exponentially.
“I am dreading the day when they both fly the nest, the huge gap it will leave in my life.”
Come now Ellee, would you prefer if they were incapable of leading independent lives? Or worse, live with you and your husband for the next 20 or 30 years? I think not…
Courtney, I would rather avoid that “passage of rites” if possible as I live in a village and my car is my right hand.
This is when I must make a similar confession to yours and admit denting my mother’s car too having clipped another one in a quiet country lane while learning to drive. I was petrified and it was possibly too son for me. In fact, I had been very naughty, having persuaded my twin brother to take me out against my parent’s wishes as I was so desperate to get behind the wheel. It meant that I had no further lessons with my parents until just before my test. I’m proud to say I passed first time after only about 20 hours driving in total.
Re flying the nest, I believe it is a parent’s duty to bring their children up so they can stand on their own two feet (David needs some cooking lessons). I left home at 18, but remained close by to family, whereas David will be in Hull if he is successful in his uni application and getting good A level grades. Both my sons both bring a ray of sunshine in the house and I fear it just won’t be the same when they have gone, as I know they must. It will be a terrible wrench, and maybe only mothers understand what that feels like.
Hull to East Anglia is hardly the world’s greatest journey though, and think what he’ll be gaining in independence and life experience. Being too close to ones family can be hugely stifling after all!
[…] My son won’t speak to me By Ellee My son David isn’t speaking to me. You couldn’t meet a more easy going and placid 17-year-old. But suddenly, with L plates on the car, he has become a different person. The power under the car bonnet has clearly gone to his head. […]