Little did I realise when I had 
lunch with Chris a month ago that it would be the last time I saw him.
I sadly learned on Friday that he had died. Chris was married to my dear friend Sue who died just over a year ago after she drank herself to death. Their great friend Celia died last June.
Celia had just started going to Alcoholics Anonymous when she died after a fall at her home. It seems the same could have happened to Chris. He told me on 14 March as we sat by a riverside pub in Ely that he planned to clean himself up and go to AA that evening. He wanted to buy a boat and relax. I took this last photo of him there.
I called him several times afterwards to find out how it went, and the news from his doctor about the mystery sores on his legs. I left a couple of messages on his answerphone, but I never heard back from him.
Finally, a strange voice answered when I called again on Friday afternoon. It was his cousin, his only surviving relative, to say he had died. It is believed he fell at home, and nobody knows for sure how long he had been lying in the hallway before he was discovered.
When I saw Chris, he was extremely unsteady on his feet and the first thing he told me was that he was not drunk. He pleaded with me to believe him, and I did. I held on to his arm all afternoon as his balance was so poor. Chris barely touched his glass of wine over lunch and just picked at his food. He looked very poorly. With hindsight, I think he was much worse than I realised.
Chris had suffered a brain injury after a bad fall when visiting Sue in hospital and I’m wondering now if his unsteadiness could have been something to do with that, he still complained of memory loss. I naturally badgered him over the last year to get medical attention and he was hoping to have an updated brain scan.
The three of them had always been inseparable. In fact, Chris was engaged to Celia before he dated Sue and Celia had hoped they could get back together after Sue died. They were an eternal triangle.
The funeral is this morning, but I am unfortunately unable to attend. Instead I have lit a candle and placed it in front of his wedding photo in his and Sue’s memory. It has brought a tear to my eyes.
It’s such a waste of three very talented and amusing friends. They are much missed.
There are too many “if onlys” that one could say about a story like this….
R.I.P.
Sorry to hear this sad new Ellee.
As you know i know just how distructive alcohol can be 🙁
Many condolences, Ellee
Oh, Ellee:
My sincere thoughts and prayers are with you at such a tragic time. There is no use in “could have, should have, would have” in these circumstances. You did well. This was not within your control. God Bless!
Oh Ellee that is so sad. What a tragic waste. Thoughts are with you.
Oh Ellee,
I am so sorry to here these sad news. Thinking of you xx
My condolences, Ellee. We never know that the time we see a person could be the last.
It’s been a sad day for me, it’s like the end of an era as we shared so many happy times together in the past. There is nobody left for me to reminisce with.
I’m so sorry Ellee. What a sad story of wasted lives. It is hard to watch good friends when they practise such destructive behaviour and sad that he seemed to want to turn it all around but sadly it did not happen.
Another tragic tale of the toll alcohol (our most lethal drug) takes on the lives of so many. How sad, Ellee. I reminds me of the end of my sad mother. I just came from a counselling session with a young man of 22 who is a binge drinker (and also a Type 1 diabetic) and I spent an hour trying to convince him that he must change his life pattern. “But, I get so much pleasure out of drinking,” he told me. I should pass your tale of your friend on to him for the next time we meet, if you wouldn’t object to my doing so.
There but for the grace of G-d …
Ian, if you feel anyone can learn from this trilogy of tragedy, then please go ahead.
Incredibly sad, I’m so sorry that happened to him. Sincere condolences on your loss, Ellee.
Like everyone – sorry to hear it.
If there were any consistency or logic then alcohol would be as illegal as any narcotic. It’s simply that it goes way back in our culture that it isn’t.
I am able to moderate my drinking(not least because I have to in my job). I now make amusing company but drinking excessively once caused me a great deal of harm. Perhaps that was a good lesson for me to learn – but what a huge cost it was to me, not to mention the people whose feelings I hurt.
((((hug)))) for you.
Sorry to hear about Chris. Sue was a nice person if a ‘bit troubled’. E-mail me we have a mutual friend.
[…] I’ve written here about losing Sue, Celia and then Chris last month. And now John has died, a guitar loving fellow hack who was warm and witty, intelligent and kind, devoted to his wife Anne and their two teenage sons. […]