I wish it had been the other way round, Four Weddings and A Funeral, but tomorrow will be the fourth funeral of a dear friend in 16 months. They far outnumber the wedding I have to look 
forward to in three weeks.
I’ve written here about losing Sue, Celia and then Chris last month. And now John has died, a guitar loving fellow hack who was warm and witty, intelligent and kind, devoted to his wife Anne and their two teenage sons.
We worked at the Cambridge Evening News together before he joined The Telegraph. But John had suffered health problems for many years, particularly his heart.
I last saw him just before Christmas and he told me about a special weekend he had spent in the medieval village of Lavenham with his wife to celebrate her birthday, how they had enjoyed it so much and he was hoping they could spend more time together this way.
He died away from home at a friend’s house, having gone to watch a rugby match. I will join his grieving friends and family tomorrow and pay tribute to him. It was a privilege to know John and be invited to his birthday party in the New Year, he was a very generous host. I feel so very sad for his lovely family.
So my message to Marion, who is tying the knot with her second "man cub" next month, and is 25 years her junior, is "go for it, enjoy life and the love you have". I think I shall buy those pink satin high heels I saw in Dune and dance the night away when my husband’s band plays at her nuptials. Knowing John, I think he would have approved.
Update 19 May: This is John’s obituary in today’s Daily Telegraph. I didn’t realise his band once played on the same bill as The Who at The Cavern in Liverpool.
I’m sorry to hear about your friend Ellee. Sometimes funerals seem to come in waves it seems. I’m glad you have a happy wedding to balance things out.
What a sad time you have had, hopefully the future will now bring a few more ‘weddings’.
Incidentally, I too am ‘near Cambridge’.
Sorry you’ve lost so many, Ellee.
what a terrible time you’ve had recently, Ellee. Do enjoy the wedding. Take care.
Your life’s very up and down at the moment: sorry about your friend.
I so admired the grace and dignity of Anne at John’s funeral today, her poise and even her smile at a time of great heartache.Their two lovely boys were so courageous. I particularly felt for the younger one who is due to sit his A’levels now, and is pressing ahead with them.
My only regret is that I did not see more of John, hear him play his guitar, especially as he was so accomplished and it brought him so much joy.
And I liked the last two lines of the verse on the front of his service sheet:
“You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
Sorry to hear it, Ellee.
Take care.
I am so sorry you have had such a sad trime, Ellee. Yes, live for the moment – that’s all we have.