I would like to commend The Times for the terrific adoption campaign it is running this week. Ask any child if he wants to spend his childhood in an institution or a loving, stable home – and I think you can guess the answer. Just like troubled Maisie who was featured in a BBC documentary last week, and was desperate to be part of a family.
The Times yesterday highlighted new data which showed that only one in 15 children over five in care are adopted, compared to one in three under the age of four. The Times’ campaign seeks to double the number of annual adoptions from the current 3,200 in the next five years, and to speed up the process.
Today the inspirational Francesca Polini and her lovely family are featured across a double page spread in today’s paper. It describes her harrowing and challenging adoption experiences, and the reason she adopted two babies in Mexico because of hitting a brick wall with the UK adoption process. I am working with her to promote a review of the present adoption procedure, both domestic and adoption. This is what today’s Times says about her in their report about children in care facing “adoption apartheid”.
For Francesca Polini and her husband, Rick, the process was heartbreaking. They deliberately chose not to have children of their own, but instead to offer a home to a couple of children in care waiting to be adopted.
Mrs Polini was taken aback when social workers at Ealing council in West London, where she lives, told her that their services were not required.
“I was told over the phone, without even an interview or face-to-face meeting, that all the children in Ealing needing to be adopted were black or mixed-race and there was a cap on the number of white couples they wanted to approve, and that number had been reached,†she told The Times.
“I was really shocked. It was made clear we could not be considered for anyone other than a white child, and there was no suggestion that neighbouring local authorities may need white couples and I should go there instead. The social worker suggested we try for overseas adoption instead. Apparently it didn’t matter about the child being from a different ethnic group as long as it came from abroad.â€
The couple did just that, and after an emotional rollercoaster ride became the first British couple to adopt from Mexico. Mrs Polini, 41, has written a book, Mexican Takeaway, about the experience. They have a daughter, Gaia, 3, and a son Luca, aged six months.
Although they are happy with their family, they still feel they had a lot to offer children in care in this country.
“It didn’t hit me until after we had adopted Gaia how ridiculous it is to tell a couple they cannot adopt because they are white. With local authorities it seems to be colour first, and then what religion your are, rather than whether you are ready and prepared to look after a child.
“The Government has made a start with new guidance but it remains to be seen whether local authorities will follow it. I think there won’t be any significant progress unless they scrap the local authority-based system altogether and have one national agency in charge.â€
If this campaign makes a difference to just a dozen young lives this year, it will have been worth it.
The issue, of course, is who decides what constitutes a “loving home”. There is a new PC definition of that and I’d like to know who are actually the names deciding this.
Unfortunately the answer to ” who decides ” is that it is social workers.
And with regard to adoption they are full of political correctness and social engineering.
Lord help any family who this group gets into its web ( especially lower working class ).
If your fat , smoke, swear , or stand up to them you can find your children suddenly in front of a court and with the social workers looking to take them from you.
Its dispicable but true.
For children with a real need to be taken into care its equally bad as it will so often be what colour they are that decides if they will have a future in a good family or not.
They would rather see a child for ever in ” care ” (a very loose use of the word ) than put it with another racial group .
Its pathetic but also true and horrible .
So what is our wonderful Mr Cameron and Co doing about all this , sweet b .all .
Too busy denouncing Oxford ( wrongly ) again about colour , pathetic.
It’s not true at all that “If your fat , smoke, swear , or stand up to them you can find your children suddenly in front of a court and with the social workers looking to take them from you.”
That statement is so silly it kind of undermines any sensible comment you might attempt to make, so let’s just leave it at that shall we?
Many of the abused children, believe it or not, come from “loving Parents” (at least by their definition) who are unable to meet many of their other needs. If you want the names of the people making decisions, go to your local Social services and ask for the names of the adoption panel members, the Agency decision maker and the statement of purpose from the Agency Adoption Team. They’re all there and open to all.
Can you tell me what the new PC definition of a “loving Family” is please because I’ve not heard any new one.
Social workers are too emeshed in poolitical correctness to decide about adoption. What’s best for the child doesn’t seem to come into it, but instead the colour of their skin.
What do you mean by “political correctness”, and what REAL experience have you got to back this up? Can you give your example and evidence that you have experienced at first hand rather than something you’ve read in the papers?
J-L, the duty to prioritise a child’s ethnic identity when considering families was set out in legislation, and was not political, although it might, on the basis of evidence, have been correct for many , but not all children. Social Workers are not enmeshed in political correctness in my experience, but they are constrained by it when trying to think creatively. Who would you have decide?
BTW Elle, I hope your work will interview and promote the other side of the story as well as those who might have had a bad experience. In 15 years as an adoption Social Worker I know of many families who have had a very positive experience of the process. Also, I hope you will learn the actual facts and disabuse yourself, and the general public, that it is not Social workers that are responsible for delays but the need to make sure that adoption outside the family is the right thing for a child, and that it is the COURTS, THE JUDICIAL PROCESS, AND THE BARRISTERS OF FAMILIES that create and build in delay, much to the frustration of Social workers.
Dear Social Worker,
I hear what you are saying and I myself have frequently referred to what appears an attempt by the government to pass the buck to social workers. With choices to make about how to use their cash, it does mean a paucity of social workers.
Of course there are ‘some’ good examples. However you can’t deny the facts speak for themselves: the negative stories far exceed any good news ones about adoption. You cannot deny the UK has a terrible record in placing children for adoption both domestically and internationally. For a developed country with the highest proportion of children in care in Western Europe – and a large number of prospective parents – this is plain wrong. I understand the system is complex as I have been through it however admitting that it could be better is an important step rather than trying to pretend that it’s all really ok. It will only evolve if all parties are willing to participate and take responsibility for moving forward.
Dear Social Worker,
I hear what you are saying and I myself have frequently referred to what appears an attempt by the government to pass the buck to social workers. With choices to make about how to use their cash, it does mean a paucity of social workers.
Of course there are ‘some’ good examples. However you can’t deny the facts speak for themselves: the negative stories far exceed any good news ones about adoption. You cannot deny the UK has a terrible record in placing children for adoption both domestically and internationally. For a developed country with the highest proportion of children in care in Western Europe – and a large number of prospective parents – this is plain wrong. I understand the system is complex as I have been though it however admitting that it could be better is an important step rather than trying to pretend that it’s all really ok. It will only evolve if all parties are willing to participate and take responsibility for moving forward.
Dear Francesca
“Of course there are ‘some’ good examples. However you can’t deny the facts speak for themselves: the negative stories far exceed any good news ones about adoption.”
I can’t deny the fact that the negative stories exceed the good ones, but that’s because there isn’t much of a story in a positive adoption outcome. I am post box coordinator for a Local Authority. I administered the contact of over 500 adoptive families. Not one of them complain. Why is that?
“You cannot deny the UK has a terrible record in placing children for adoption both domestically and internationally.”
…and who do you hold responsible for that? The last preparation group that I ran consisted of 8 families, all of them wanted pre school children, the majority wanted girls. We are not good at finding adopters for older children, sibling groups and children with severe challenging behaviour. This is a recruitment issue not Political correctness, laziness or an anti adoption bias. I remember a few years ago after a Channel 4 campaign to feature older children, I went upstairs to the admin department and was accosted by the whole floor demanding to know why this was so. I invited applicants from the 100 or so women to consider the profiles of our age 5+ children. No one came forward.
The children wait because no one wants them. That’s the top and bottom of it. That isn’t complacency. Every week I circulate the details of the children I’m family finding for throughout the country, to all Adoption agencies. I receive almost identical information from them.
You will never know the full facts because of confidentiality issues. I chose to write here because I can keep my own confidentiality and I’m sick of the wrong interpretation of statistics and the bad mouthing of workers who are trying their best for the children they are responsible for.
Francesca, the figures just don’t bear out what you are saying, and in fact, the UK has one of the best records for placing children domestically for adoption because the majority of countries don’t support adoption as a means of legal permanence for children. Also, because our attention to human rights is rather better than the countries who produce the most children for international adoption, we to tend to ensure that informed parental consent is obtained before people’s children are shipped off overseas. I have always wondered why inter country adopters don’t just send the money they spend on assessments, travel and residency requirements and notary costs to birth mothers to raise their own children.
Looks like Francesca didn’t like my observations. Never mind, my point has been made. I wish you well with the children, it’s nice that they will have a happy life.
Social Worker, thank you for your comments. As you said earlier, it’s true that the negative side of important topics and people are the ones that hit the headlines, not just regarding adoption, but journalists, politicians and police officers too. Ultimately, both you and Francesca want the best opportunities for children who might otherwise have a terrible life, and that’s a great goal to share.
Absolutely. It might be helpful however if our shared goals didn’t include damaging slurs.
We have just called it a day after nearly 7 years in the system trying to adopt a child through our local authority. We were approved just over 4 years ago but until recently had no potential matches. We have been called ‘different’ and told that we needed to be matched with a’quirky’ child! The whole process has been a shambles, we have been left to drift and our potential has been squandered. We recently decided to call it a day as we had become emotionally exhausted and needed to get on with our lives. I would never recommend adoption as an option to anyone based on our experiences. Martin Narey, Michael Gove et al have a massive job on their hands – I wish them well but, unless attitudes deep within the system change, they have little chance of success.