I have been following readers’ letters in The Times about palliative care for the dying
and penned one describing my personal experiences following the recent death of my mother-in-law Vera.
I found it distressing to watch Vera unable to swallow fluids in the her last days, particularly as a small sponge on a stick which I had used to dip in water and moisten the mouth of my father in his last hours, was no longer available. This is what I wrote:
Sir, I helped to care for my mother-in-law, who died at home from a terminal illness this month. We tried giving her fluids through a straw, a baby beaker and a teaspoon until her swallowing reflexes stopped working. We were told she could choke if we continued, and that we should let nature take its course.
I asked the district nurse for some sponges on a stick that we could dip into water to moisten her mouth. These had been available when my father died in similar circumstances five years ago. We were told they were now banned as a health and safety risk because some of the sponges came off, and no alternative suggestions were offered. An assistant at our local Boots store suggested that we tie some gauze on a cotton bud, and this was what we used to moisten her parched tongue in her last hours. I could see the immense gratitude in her eyes.
With all the technological advancements at our disposal today, could someone not create a safe sponge on a stick that could be used to add a little comfort for the dying?
Ellee Seymour
I totally agree with you Ellee, in this day and age they surely could come up with a small device to help ease the discomfort.
What are these health and safety people on?? You are not so dumb as to leave a terminally ill person with one are you? so not really a health hazard.
Elfen safety makes me thing of the film The Matrix
Great letter Elle. My mum died of MND at the end of 2007 and they were still available at the point, so the ban must be very recent.
What an awful thing for you all to go through.
A great letter, Ellee. How typical of ‘elf & safety to want to encroach and come up with something at this very personal time.
Stuart, I’m sorry to hear about your loss too. One of the GPs who visited Vera recommended using these sponges, so he didn’t realise they were no longer available. It must be fairly new.
It is so heartbreaking to watch a loved one going through this process.
Nice article thanks for sharing this with us
How idiotic to ban something so vital when there is no available substitute. Better to wait until there is and I am sure the risk was infinitesimal.
The usual health and safety gone mad, I’m afraid.
Thanks for your last comment on my blog, Ellee, but I am wondering if you have seen my entries during the last half of August and early September. My life might be leisurely, but I don’t think you would really like it at the moment. 🙂
The world has gone made hasnt it? Great letter Ellee – well done and I’m so sorry for your hard times recently.
I didn’t realise they had been banned either…..but am not that up to date now. It is shocking really to think there is no good recommended alternative.It is not much to ask in the final few hours/days of anyone’s life for something as simple as a little water to moisten one’s mouth as a means of comfort.
Liz, yes, unbelievable, isn’t it. There is a follow up letter in The Times today on this subject mentioning how a carer gave lollipops to their terminally ill patient, and that was something we did too before even that was too difficult as the body’s functions broke down.