If something seems to good to be true, it is. As Fergie should know and has just learnt to her horror from this News of the World sting where she was caught trying to cash £500,000 for selling access to Prince Andrew in his role as trade envoy.  Prince Andrew had no knowledge about this. Here are some extracts from the “deal” she hoped to strike:

FERGIE: I could bring you great business. I’d like to think that if I, for example, if I introduced you to…

REPORTER: Andrew for example?

FERGIE: Andrew for example. . . and he opened up doors for you which you would never possibly do.

Then, depending if it was a very big deal with I don’t know, I can’t imagine, then each deal you and I discuss the percentage of it.

REPORTER: Absolutely.

FERGIE: And so that’s what we would be doing.

REPORTER: That’s absolutely clear, no problem whatsoever.

Fergie then insisted any such arrangement must be kept secret – even from the aides who had just left the restaurant.

And she proceeded to describe how she planned to manipulate her relationship with the Prince to her advantage behind his back.

FERGIE: Perhaps he might just mention to me some of the, you know. . .

REPORTER: Viable projects?

FERGIE: Some really interesting things which I might find interesting. And I’ll look into them and maybe then they will ask me to find investments, in which case I might come to you.

At that point the Duchess made her totally unfounded allegation that Andrew suggested the £500,000 introduction fee. She assured our man it would be “a good investment”.

As the £30 main course of lamb and vegetables arrived, attention turned to the $40,000 advance.

When told that the bundles of $20 notes were waiting for her at our man’s apartment around the corner, she promised him a kiss on payment.

Throughout the dinner suspicious Fergie kept asking if our man was a reporter from the News of the World or another paper. But the thought of cash in hand proved more convincing than her fears.

At one point conversation moved to Fergie’s daughters, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie. Beatrice recently became the first royal to complete the London marathon.

When our undercover reporter said he wished he’d sponsored her, greedy Fergie quipped: “No, you’re sponsoring the mother!”

After our reporter picked up the £223.25 dinner bill plus £50 tip, Fergie happily jumped into the back of a limo with him – again carelessly risking her personal security – and was chauffeured to the Mayfair flat.

There she boasted about her privileged position and proclaimed: “I’m a complete aristocrat. Love that don’t you? I love it. It’s tremendously fabulous. But I’ve never admitted that to anyone by the way!” As she relaxed on the sofa with a glass of wine, Fergie asked our man to donate one per cent of profits from any business deals to her charity, set up to build schools in Asia.

But she soon remembered that charity begins at home.

FERGIE: Next! On to the next thing, £500,000, when you can, to me. . . open doors.

REPORTER: It would be Prince Andrew?

FERGIE: Yeah.

REPORTER: Is that a deal?

FERGIE: Yeah.

REPORTER: But I’ve got to give you $40,000.

FERGIE: Yeah.

REPORTER: Which I’ve got now as a deposit. Which is in my safe. But how am I going to give it to you? I haven’t got a bag.

At that point the grinning Duchess made a silent “Gimme!” motion with her hand. She then accompanied our man into the next room, watched as he pulled out wads of crisp notes from the safe and carried them into the lounge, and then gasped: “Oh my God, you are a genius!” She said the money would go towards paying school fees for an old friend in the States. But as she stared at the pile of cash before her Fergie was prompted to get down to business again – and the outstanding £500,000.

FERGIE: Yeah OK but then if you want to go and do a big deal with Andrew, then that’s the big one.

REPORTER: I do. Of course. OK, no, of course. So you need 500,000 in pounds. . .

FERGIE: But that’s in wire transfer.

REPORTER: That has to be in wire transfer, I mean obviously.

FERGIE: That’s a wire transfer that’s completely above board. And that goes straight to wire transfer.

REPORTER: Who do we send that to?

FERGIE: You send it to the bank account that I tell you to send it to.

REPORTER: If you give me the bank account details I’ll arrange that, no problem at all.

FERGIE: Then that, is then like, then you open up all the channels whatever you need, whatever you want, and then that’s what and then you meet Andrew and that’s fine. And that’s, that’s when you really open up whatever you want.

The Duchess then boasted of her special bond with Andrew. “He’s so amazing,” she said. “We’re the happiest divorced couple in the world.”

But then she stretched credulity by claiming her ex told her he’d happily play along with her cash-for-access plot.

FERGIE: And as Andrew said, ‘Listen, if he’s (our reporter) going to be kind enough to want to play, then Andrew will play.’

REPORTER: Let’s play!

FERGIE: And he (Andrew) says, ‘Let’s play, we’ll play’ as long as it’s nothing to do with him. . . But you will be his friend.

I will listen to the friendship talk between you two. And then I do it.

REPORTER: OK.

FERGIE: You two talk.

REPORTER: Right

FERGIE: I listen.

REPORTER: OK.

FERGIE: Then I activate. . . he meets the most amazing people. And he just throws them my way.

REPORTER: He throws them your way, fantastic. Well, and you throw them my way.

FERGIE: Yes. But, we, we, I’ve never said that. . . he never does accept a penny for anything. . .he does not and will not and he is completely whiter than white.

Never mind how the royal family will feel about this, what about her two daughters? Having their respect and being their role model in life is surely what is most important for her and that must now be shattered. I’m intrigued to know why she wanted to use this money to pay towards school fees for an old friend in the States.