Ellee Seymour

I’m a few days late with this posting, but I have good news to report. There was a marked improvement with my latest “off the hoof” speech at Cambridge Toastmasters The tabletop topic required us to describe what it would have been like to live during a period in history: my era was the Ukraine in the 1920s. I managed to imagine I was a woman called Ireni married to a drunk and lasted an incredble 1 min 53 secs. I even had a slip passed to me afterwards which read “excellent, entertaining and humorous – well done”. Thanks Jo.

Thanks also to Stephen Newton who replied to my email asking his advice about blogging. His blog is amazing and I shall study it in detail. Also highly recommeded is Geoff’s mindblowing blog too.
I have so much to learn.

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While swans are reportedly dying in parts of Europe, victim of the much feared H5N1 virus strain, they were very much in evidence at the Wetland and Wildfowl Trust in Welney yesterday where scores of visitors watched them being fed. I last went to the reserve in December with my MEP Robert Sturdy, who is a rapporteur on bird flu for the European Parliament, and we met Peter Cranswick, who is head of bird monitoring for the WWT. He told us that visitor numbers and school trips were dropping drastically as people feared the bird flu, but this was certainly not the case yesterday, I have never seen it so busy, heaving with wildlife enthusiasts wearing woolly hats and carrying expensive cameras and lenses. www.wwt.org.uk

I took my new Nikon D50 and was lent a 300mm zoom lens and this was my favourite pic of the day, taken in a flash, literally! I wanted to capture the swans arriving, their necks gracefully arched as they glided over the water, but did not have time to hang around. The sight is specatacular. It was interesting to learn that the Bewicks are already on their way back to Russia. The Whooper and mute swans are still there in their thousands, along with the pochards.

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There are many ways to boost one’s confidence with public speaking besides standing up and speaking in front of an audience. There are more subtle methods that can be adopted and the one I chos was to volunteer as a trustee for a charity. This will hopefully reap many benefits for Headway, my chosen charity which cares for adults who have suffered brain injury and attend a day unit in Mill Road, Cambridge to help with their rehabilitation. This is a complete departure from my normal work, which tends to be solitary as it is based from home with a telephone and desktop. Hopefully, it will enable me to develop new communicative and decision making skills with my fellow trustees. Although I will be speaking in a less intimidating setting, sitting around a table with half a dozen other trustees, this will present other challenges as I am new to this and they have knowledge and experience which I do not possess.

I offered my services to help with their Press and PR work after learning that they needed new trustees, including the need for someone with these skills, on the website of a networking group I belong to. I was invited last night to attend and observe before making my final decision. Much of the decision making involves confidential business which I cannot disclose here, but I think I will find it interesting and develop many new skills as a result. An employment lawyer called Surbhi who I know from the networking group was also there and spoke up brilliantly on several issues involving staff. I have concerns about something they are planning and will raise this when I meet the Chief Executive, Kate, on Friday for a follow-up chat, as well as at the next meeting. See http://www.headway-cambs.org.uk/html/what_we_do.html

I also read a brilliant article in The Times called: “I have seen the future and it blogs. There is one sure way to bring the internet community to its senses – and and join it.” http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,6-2037617,00.html

And for those of you who want to catch up with other Times bloggers, try http://timesonline.typepad.com/mick_smith/

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Another challenge I have set myself this year is to learn how to salsa the night away in true Cuban style. Wednesday evenings no longer mean another night of chores but smouldering Latin music with lots of shimmying and laughter.

Last night was lesson four in my village hall with teacher Dave, a fork lift truck driver by day and salsa divo by night. His heaving beer belly and tattoos hide the passion smouldering inside his overweight body. Once the music plays, his nimble feet come to life; they almost seem separate to the rest of his body. He happily swirls each female partner round, first clockwise, then anti clockwise, then under his arm and around his back after which their arms caress his face and then his shoulder before linking up to his outstretched arm. A few nifty foot movements are added too and the whole process takes immense concentration.

What I lack in fluent speech I make up for with my salsa, or so I like to think. This is where I take the lead over my husband, who is never bashful when it comes to standing up in front and speaking in front of a crowded room. He has told me endless times how he always makes the best presentations at work when describing the new spring collection that his department store will be stocking. He cannot understand how I stutter and stammer and freeze in that kind of situation. He thinks if he can do it, anyone can.

But it seems that hubby, who joined the last couple of classes, cannot salsa, he suffers from having flat web feet and last night he left the class early after struggling with the spinning and twirling and foot tapping too. While I intend to carry on trying to improve my public speaking skills area, my husband has admitted defeat. However, I’m hoping to persuade him otherwise after a night at the Salsa Club in Cambridge this Friday. Like public speaking, it just takes practise ….

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Why does it happen to me? Why do I freeze, and my throat dries and tightens? I have no real control over what I want to say and the way I deliver my thoughts in public. Two years ago I was asked to speak to a group of networking businesswomen about my work. I prepared my speech and had it written out, and had even practised it. But, boy, was I awful! And then, of course, the confident speakers did their bit too and the words flowed so effortless. So natural. So controlled and at ease.

Again, I ask, why does it happen to me? I was soon to find out when an enterprising woman gave me her business card and suggested I call her for coaching. At £70 an hour, it wasn’t cheap, but it was a necessity after shaming myself so publicly. She started by telling me how charming and attractive I was, how good I am at my business, but that I did not do myself any favours. She was right. And I called the next day, almost gratefully.

One reason for my difficulty, she explained, could be that I am the middle of four children (the third, but I narrowly missed being second by my twin brother being born half an hour earlier). It seems siblings in the middle struggle with public speaking, unlike the first born who has to take charge. She suggested I deepen my voice to be taken more seriously and advised me on body movements I should adopt. I understood everything she said, it all made sense, it seems now I just need to practise, and practise, and practise, and practise.

My guardian angel had already taken me under her wing and at the end of last year I was reunited me with my dear friend Chrissie who I have not seen for many years. She had joined Cambridge Toastmasters Club with her partner Hector. They took me along to a meeting at which I simply observed, andeveryone made it look so easy. The people were fun and sparky – as well as very clever. They each have their own style, some over the top, others restrained and hushlike, some very composed – but they all seemed to be enjoying themselves. I still hesitated, out of fear, of taking it a step further. Until yesterday…..

Having attended a workshop yesterday morning on achieving goals, I wrote down that I would attend Cambridge Toastmasters last night, that I would not put it off any longer. The fear was still there, only I was not going to let it get the better of me. Just to make sure I did not back out, Paul McKenna was on Richard and Judy talking about confidence and public speaking. Hey, I do like that man, he deserves to be a millionnaire. And yes, I ordered his book. I still forgot his advice and all the golden tips I reminded myself about. But there’s always a next time, and after that another chance too, until one day, it will fall into place.

I’m going to stand in front of the mirror now and see if I can improve on my maiden speech. And many thanks to Geoff Jones, another first timer (only much better and bolder than me), but also a blogger extraordinare who told me to blog it all down – this is my first attempt, hope it is ok.

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