Ellee Seymour

Last month I wrote about how the Seymour family had registered to be extras in a new blockbuster, part of which is to be shot on my home turf near Cambridge.

Pale, interesting ladies and men with beards were being sought to play courtiers for the sequal to the Oscar winning Elizabeth, starring Cate Blanchett.

Unfortunately, we don’t seem to fit the bill, I haven’t heard a word.

That was until yesterday when a very anxious sounding woman phoned me and said her husband and his friend had been growing beards for several weeks, but did not know when or where they were supposed to turn up for filming.

What’s more, they don’t particularly enjoy being bearded, what are they to do?

I asked her to kindly send me a photograph of the two hapless men waiting patiently waiting for their cue so I could follow it up on their behalf, but nothing has arrived.

“So who exactly are you?” she suddenly asked, sounding totally confused and perplexed. I guess she came across my contact details via my blog and Google juice and thought I was involved with the casting.

So if you stumble across two lost bearded men, perhaps you could remind them of the protocol: “Don’t call us, we’ll call you,” harsh as it may sound.

I now feel a little bit mischievous and have devised a cunning plan with an equally disappointed neighbour who was also given the cold shoulder.

Filming for Elizabeth: The Golden Age, starts on Monday and we shall arrive at the film set disguised in false beards in an attempt to weasle our way in, what do you think? Hopefully, I will give an Oscar winning performance, the first of many.