Ellee Seymour

I was astonished to read about the cruelty levelled by Sir Vidia Naipaul against the women who loved him - his Oxford educated wife Pat and mistress of 20 years Margaret Murray, for whom the attraction was merely sexual.

I found John Carey’s review in yesterday’s Sunday Times on the authorized biography of VS Naipaul, "The World Is What It Is", by Patrick French, both riveting and depressing.

It is certainly not going to make Naipaul liked, and he is reputed to be one of the most arrogant men in London literary circles. In Carey’s words, it "exposes him as an egotist, a domestic tyrant and a sadist to a degree that would be farcical if it were not for the consequent distress suffered over many years by his first wife, Pat."

Why do women stay with men who behave with incredible selfishness and cruelty? Just read what Carey says about Naipaul’s life:

"She (Pat) defied her family in marrying him, but things soon started to go wrong. It was partly, it seems, that he was too fastidious to commit himself wholly to another person. He would not give her a wedding ring, though she pleaded for one and eventually bought one herself. But it was also that she did not attract him sexually. He felt sexual desire to be shameful, and could not associate it with love. They were both too embarrassed to discuss his problem, and he began to consort with prostitutes, while Pat saw her hopes of motherhood fade.

Then, in 1972, he met an Anglo-Argentinian woman, Margaret Murray, and felt an instant attraction. They soon found that what French calls the kinks in their personalities matched. She enjoyed being his slave and victim, while he was aroused by mistreating and dominating her. It gave him, he said, carnal pleasure for the first time in his life. Being ignorant and not very bright (he estimated that her vocabulary was limited to 50 words), she was of no interest to him except as a sex object. When they were apart he did not bother to read, or even open, her letters. But, for the next 20 years, they would meet in locations around the world to do things that, Murray said, it would have made her sick to do with anyone else, though she longed to do them again with him. She cherished the wounds he inflicted as signs of his passion. On one occasion he beat her, on and off, for two days, until his hand became painfully swollen and her face was too disfigured for her to appear in public.

She left her husband and three children, in hopes that he would marry her. But he still needed Pat to guide, support and mother him, so he shuttled between the two women, repeatedly threatening each that he would put an end to their relationship. It destroyed Pat. The effect of his “hating and abusing” her, her diaries record, was to convince her of her own “revoltingness and folly”. He would reduce her to tears in front of guests, yet demand to be cosseted like a child. When he told her of his affair, he expected her to comfort him for being apart from Murray, and she did. Her love and admiration seem to have been limitless. In her diaries she refers to him as “the Genius”.

Murray became pregnant three times during their relationship. On the first occasion, Naipaul sent a cheque to cover the termination. “I was quite happy for it to be aborted,” he explains. “I would have had to give up so much.” The other two times he paid no heed, and left her to arrange what she called her “little murders” herself. This was typical of his undeviating self-concern, which French traces to the humiliations of his early life. Descended from destitute Indian labourers sent to Trinidad to cut sugar cane, he was made to feel inferior even within his own extended family by the failures and mental breakdowns of his beloved father, whom he was to commemorate in A House for Mr Biswas."

It is incredible that Naipaul authorised such an uncensored account of his shameful behaviour, and French was determined that there should be no interference in his writing. According to the biography, Naipaul accepts the fact that his affair with Margaret ‘undid Pat’s life’ and that his admission in a 1994 magazine interview that he had once been a ‘great prostitute man’ devastated Pat, who had just had a mastectomy, and contributed to her death in 1996.

Two months after Pat’s funeral, he married Nadira Khannum Alvi (pictured), a journalist for the Pakistani newspaper, The Nation.

I’ve had my fair share of unsuitable partners. But there has to be a limit to how much cruelty a woman can take, however much she loves a man. I felt so distressed for Pat and Margaret and their suffering. But why didn’t they walk away from him, from the unhappiness he deliberately inflicted on them? I very much doubt Naipaul behaves the same way towards his present wife, that she would tolerate such tyrannical treatment.

*Interestingly, French declined the offer of an OBE in 2003 so it did not compromise his independence as a writer. I wonder what his next project will be. Naipaul will be a hard act to follow, for many reasons.

The outfits were elegant and demure and deliberately understated to accommodate the renowned British reserve. But one thing stood out and disappointed me about Carla Sarkozy’s carefully planned wardrobe during her visit to the UK last week -where were the heels?

I only started wearing flatties after I began to carry babies around on my hips. Up until then, I always wore the right colour killer heel with every outfit. Even when cycling around Cambridge on journalistic assignments. And I certainly still do when the occasion demands. I would certainly never dream of attending a formal evening in dull flatties. I own dozens of gorgeous stilettos in every colour you can imagine, some more comfortable than others. These are essential accessories that complete an outfit, even more so than a handbag. And I’m afraid that’s where Carla let herself down - literally - even if her soft pumps were made by Dior.

There are occasions when a woman has to wear heels, however short her partner. How long before Carla develops the hunched shoulders that Princess Diana did during her marriage to Prince Charles who she also dwarfed? Can tall women wear heels when they marry much shorter men? I think sometimes they have to, especially if they want to look glamorous. Glamour and flatties do not go together.

*I also have a black pillbox hat I bought a few years ago, is this the start of a new fashion craze? And don’t you think her sleeves are too short on her purple coat which I read cost £2,000?

Just before Easter I was ranked at just over 19,000 by Technorati, the internet search engine which tracks every blog in the world.

In the last week, thanks to my hectic home and work schedule which resulted in light blogging, I dropped 10,000 places, but am still ranked above 30,000. Just. And my blog was ranked as high as 13,000 a year ago when I had more time to spend on it.

I really value my Technorati ranking rather than the number of readers I have because it demonstrates that bloggers are linking to me and my posts. However, I believe if you use Google Reader to peruse a favourite post, which I often do, then it does not register as a hit. So you cannot accurately know the number of your readers or where they are from. Please correct me if I am wrong.

As Wikipedia states that Technorati was indexing 112 million blogs last December, perhaps being ranked at 29,000 globally is not too bad after all. I won’t lose any sleep over it, but will try not to drop any lower, however busy I am.

Do you worry about your rankings at all? How do you assess the success of your blog?

I’m attending a couple of meetings this morning, then heading off to Cambridge Wordfest for the rest of the day for some stimulation at this always exciting literary festival being held this weekend.

It may not surprise you to learn that with my passion for environmental issues, I am particularly looking forward to listening to Sir David King, the government’s former chief scientific adviser, speak about climate change.

I’ve also bought tickets to see Janet Street-Porter, who I last saw at Newmarket Races on Ladies Day a couple of years ago, as well as Louis de Bernieres and Oliver James. Quite a varied combination.

Last year I was offered a free ticket for one of this year’s Wordfest events after their disappointing evening of Decadent Cabaret when some of the audience walked out, which I wrote about here, and it caused quite a stir at the time.

Perhaps Janet S-P should have been asked to organise the Decadent Cabaret, but then maybe not …..

There was a time you could go to the cinema and enjoy a film knowing everyone’s mobile phone was switched off. That is not the case any more. When my family and I this week went to see my husband’s starring role in The Other Boleyn Girl, somebody’s phone rang and the woman in front spent the whole time texting.

Now, disappointingly, I learn that one of the last public phone-free zones could be set to ring in the tones as the use of mobile phones is to be allowed on aircraft, though not during take off and landing.

I always thought we had the present ban was because of air safety regulations and to prevent interference with the plane’s electronic controls. But now Ofcom has given the all-clear for British aircraft to install systems that will allow passengers to use their phones during flights.

I think passengers greatly value the peace and quiet they have on planes. I can’t imagine anything more intrusive than sitting next to a passenger who is constantly fiddling about with his phone, or having to listen to his boring conversation, particularly during a long flight when you are desperate for some rest.

I hope that seats will be set aside for mobile phone passengers so they can sit together and drive each other nuts. At the very least, please give us the option of distancing ourselves from them if we choose.

I’m wearing my trustees hat today and will be spending some time at Headway Cambridgeshire with its excellent CEO Andrew Gardner.

Next week is Action for Brain Injury Week and it will focus on highlighting research which describes the discrimination and prejudice experienced by brain injury survivors, as well as the lack of proper care they are given by agencies which should be supporting them.

I am particularly concerned about brain injuries suffered by our serving soldiers and whether it is correctly diagnosed and treated once they return home.

Richard Hammond has described how 18-months later, he is still has difficulties following his brain injury sustained after a 300mph crash. This is sadly not surprising, and it is true for many others in the same situation.

We should all count our blessings because any one of us could one day have an accident that leaves us brain injured and will change our lives for ever.

This is how Ben Edwards, one of our Cambridgeshire service users, describes his experiences of being brain injured:

“My brain injury is largely invisible. I wear a beanie hat to cover the scar from surgery but everyone thinks it’s just a trendy thing to wear. After my injury I found it difficult to remember things and string sentences together. Down my local pub they thought I was drunk before I’d even had a drink!

“Knowing you can’t do all the things you once could knocks your confidence without being self-conscious, or humiliated in public, as well. People are too quick to judge.”

Andrew highlighted how brain injury survivors were being let down by the agencies which should be supporting them:

“The results of this survey are shocking. We are appalled that so many people with brain injuries across the UK are being mistreated by statutory agencies and facing prejudice by wider society.

“Three years ago, the government launched the National Service Framework for Long-term (Neurological) Conditions. This framework was designed to transform the way health and social care services support people living with long-term neurological conditions. The results of our survey clearly show that in three years, very little has been achieved and the NSF has to date been a failure.

“Brain injury can have devastating effects, which can often last a lifetime. It can affect every aspect of you: walking, thinking and feeling, and can mean losing the life you once led and the person you once were. People trying to deal with these life-changing conditions need our help and yet they face discrimination and prejudice in their everyday lives. We hear numerous stories of how our service users are often bullied, harassed and ridiculed for their disabilities, which is highly disturbing in a sophisticated society like ours.”

There is an internet campaign to ban Chancellor Alistair Darling from every pub in the land following the 4p per pint tax increase in this month’s budget.

Musings of a Reactionary Snob is one blogger giving this his full support. But I think banning him is taking the easy way out, that voters should have the opportunity of coming face to face with him and giving him their own personal message of financial hardship.

So just imagine in the unlikely event that Darling is gasping for a pint and has walked into your pub, what would you say to him about today’s economic gloom, with more than half of voters believing their families are worst off? You can include the Seymour household in that, hit particularly by rising fuel prices.

Happy Easter everyone. I want to have some family time this Easter, so blogging will be light. It won’t be long before David flies the nest and heads off to uni and I want us to enjoy as many family trips together as possible before he leaves.

It’s difficult to plan days out for teenage boys, but I thought they might enjoy The London Bridge Experience, which takes you deep into vaults which were once the plague pits of 14th century London, it is not for the faint hearted. I know I shall come out white-faced.

I’ve also planned a trip dog racing to Peterborough Greyhound Stadium with my Uncle Peter. He makes me laugh because he always has a tip on the horses or dogs, but whenever we go racing together, he never seems to win. He’ll often ring up to tell me about a good win, but this never seems to happen when we are together. Maybe I bring him bad luck….

Update Easter Day morning: Happy White Easter everyone, who would have thought it, though I do remember snow in June once many years ago. I remember writing to a friend about it who was doing VSO in Papua New Guinea.

I took this pic in my back garden at 8am, and the snow is coming down thick and fast with lovely soft flakes. It’s a great day to get the sledges out and go to Cherry Hill in Ely - the only hill in the flat Fenland landscape for miles around.

In the last 10 minutes, the snow has become an inch thicker, the sky is just full of it. I wonder if the snow gritters were out yesterday, I didn’t see any, and snow was forecast. We have to drive to Wisbech to see my family this morning, I wonder how clear the roads will be.

I did want to chill out over Easter, but not to this extreme. Are you having a white Easter too?

I’m off to York today to spend the day with Julian Sturdy. A pity there is never time to tour the city because it is stunning and I would love to study its history and architecture.

Apologies for the light blogging this week, but when duty calls, a girl has to do what a girl has to do…

Quote of the day from Post Offices Minister Pat McFadden on Post Office closures:

"In most of the local closure plans so far about 99% of people will either see no change to their current post office or will still be within a mile of one by road."

He obviously hasn’t listened to a word that has been said by protestors up and down the country, the huge impact it will have on communities.

I fear that closures will be inevitable and this government does not care how it will affect neighbourhoods by axing yet another vital amenity. I am waiting to hear if my Post Office is on the hit list, and I know there are dozens of pensioners in my village without a car who will not be able to get to the next village a couple of miles away. The government is making sweeping assumptions to justify its case.

While I applaud the actions of Essex County Council in throwing a lifeline to 15 of its threatened post offices - and well done to its leader, Lord Hanningfield, for highlighting this on his blog - I wonder if our Regional Assemblies could not lend a helping hand. They surely want to encourage - and facilitate - healthy regional economies and this cannot be achieved by axing essential local services. It must surely be in their interest to improve facilities, not reduce them.

Julian Sturdy is one of many Conservatives who has been campaigning against post office closures. Let’s hope Tories can today win a vote against the government on axing the 2,500 post offices under threat. Even 90 Labour MPs are said to be against it, including seven Cabinet ministers - did you note that, Pat McFadden? And when did you last visit your local P.O.?