It can be easy to envy those who you think “have it all”. But what you see on
the outside can be just an act, their real lives could be very different to what you perceive.
Veronica Callanan reflects about this on her latest post after reading about Meg Matthews‘s determination to win the battle of the booze, and says:
It was interesting reading her story because in many ways she’s had such an amazing life, rock and roll lifestyle, parties, famous friends, rich, successful, pretty, she basically had the best this world had to offer and she still wasn’t happy.
She spoke of her dissatisfaction and unhappiness, in particular just not feeling ‘good enough’, although she says she doesn’t regret it most of it she says she’s lucky to have a second chance at life.
Whenever I read of a celebrity who is getting sober I relate so much to what they’re describing. My life was as opposite to Meg’s as it’s possible to get, there was absolutely no glamour and no rock stars to speak off. So that part I don’t relate to in fact I used to envy. Yet here is a woman who supposedly ‘had it all’ and was still not happy, still felt dissatisfied and not good enough which is exactly how I felt.
It seems that it doesn’t matter what you have on the outside, if you feel empty on the inside then nothing can change that, all the money and glamour in the world just highlight the incongruence of your ‘insides and outsides’ not matching, and just how painful that is.
I remember feeling worthless, no confidence, unattractive and my friends told how attractive I was, how any guy would be lucky to have me (like Meg I couldn’t get a date for love nor money, and had resigned myself to singleness). I knew they meant it and weren’t just being nice as they were genuinely shocked that I could feel that way about myself. But it didn’t matter that they were incredulous and my lack of self belief, it didn’t matter how many people told me how great I was, or pretty etc, I didn’t feel it myself, I didn’t feel good enough and there’s something about believing that about yourself that makes it manifest itself in your reality.
Because I felt and thought badly about myself, I became that person. We are what we think we are.
Meg Mathews was a pointless ligger and now is a pointless swigger. I do get sick of celebs whining abou their booze problem. Why is it that whenevber they have a few shandy`s they are ill when for the rest of us its just lazy. Admit it there is a lot of nonsense going on.
Newmania, the point is that she has turned over a new leaf, she feels lucky to have “a second chance”. People should learn from past mistakes.
I suppose no one can really imagine what another person’s life is like.
Addiction to anything has nothing to do with what we possess externally, but everything to do with our inner being. I know. I have counselled addicts, and I’ve been there.
Ian
“I remember feeling worthless, no confidence, unattractive and my friends told how attractive I was, how any guy would be lucky to have me (like Meg I couldn’t get a date for love nor money, and had resigned myself to singleness). I knew they meant it and weren’t just being nice as they were genuinely shocked that I could feel that way about myself.” – yep, that was me, but my friends understood that I felt that way because a complete bastard had spent all his time, since I became ill and unable to fight back, putting me down.
Sometimes ignoring a bastard you once cared about isn’t as easy as it should be. However rich we are, we all need to be loved and if that’s not possible, then I wish people would be kinder to each other.
Well Philipa, you are right, and kindness means a lot to me too.
Ian, hey, that’s something new I learnt about you.
Some celebrities are always looking for more, and never look to see how far they have come. It is ususally their undoing.
Intresting comments, Ian is right you can’t judge anyone by what’s going on ‘outside’ of them, i generally find alot of people have a ‘front’ they put up that hides who they really are. This is never truer than with celebrities. Good luck to anyone who is turning over a new leave no matter what the circumstances.
Veronica, too true. There is a story in The Times supplement today about the great British actor Bill Nighy who has been dry for 15 years. There is a great quote from him saying that it took him until he was 42 to realise he “had no brakes” when it came to booze and dope.
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